As the nation's oldest serving detectives, we know more about London than almost anyone. After all, we've been walking its streets and impulsively arresting its citizens for decades. Who better to take you through its less savoury side? We'll be chatting about odd buildings, odder characters, lost venues, forgotten disasters, confusing routes, dubious gossip, illicit pleasures and hidden pubs.

We'll be making all sorts of odd connections and showing you why it's almost impossible to separate fact from fiction in London. With the help of some of our more disreputable friends, each an argumentative and unreliable expert in his or her own dodgy field, we'll explain why some streets have genders, why only two Londoners got to meet Dracula, how a department store and a prison played tricks on your mind, when a theatre got stranded in the past, how a building vanished in plain sight, what excited Charlotte Brontë about the city and where the devils hide in London. We hope to capture something of the city's restless spirit by wilfully wandering off course, and it goes without saying that we'll bluff and bamboozle you along the way but that's all part of the fun.

History is what you remember. London is what you forget (and we've forgotten a lot). So please do join us on this magical mystery tour of our city.

Who knows where we'll end up?