cherry soda. black vanilla. effervescent clove.

edward, schmedward... this one’s for the real OG vampires. we’re talking vlad the impaler, nosferatu, bela lugosi. sparkly vampires need not apply. it’s a hard night’s work fighting off van helsing, so when you’re done you’re gonna need to wash up before you hop back in that coffin. because buddy, i gotta tell you, you’re not gonna get many victims... er, i mean ladies, to come near you if you show up reeking of literal blood, sweat, and musty day old cape.